Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
