that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
