The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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