you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
