it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
