ya dads aren't the best wingmen
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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