No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
