I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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