found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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