There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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