Redeem this text for a blowjob
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
