If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
