He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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