I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
