just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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