Duck Duck Cougar?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
