but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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