So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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