I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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