Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
