he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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