so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
