my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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