Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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