How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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