butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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