tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
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