Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
