Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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