Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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