May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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