she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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