Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
