Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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