I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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