So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
