How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
