Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
