How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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