So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Shame - the story of my life.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
