a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
