i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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