garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She even gives head with a lisp.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
