my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
