That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
