either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
