I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
