I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
