I'm sorry my penis didn't work
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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