I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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