I think I won the penis lottery.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just want nice things and good sex
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
