Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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