I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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