I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Found your dick twin last night
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
