Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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