a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
