They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
