i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
