Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize