she looked like the before picture.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize