You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
