I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
