wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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