But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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