i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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