I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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