Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
