I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize